Two months ago I graduated from college and moved back home until I could get a job and move out on my own (which I am doing in 19 days!!!).  I have been living in my hometown and until this weekend I haven’t really experienced that “back home” feeling.

My hometown goes all out over the 4th of July with a huge community carnival and fireworks show.  I think I have only missed the fireworks there three or four times in my life and was really excited to go this year (since I’m moving permanently).  However, this meant I was destined to run into numerous people I knew from way back when.

I was settled in to watch the fireworks when a really good friend came up to say hello.  This is the guy who I kinda-sorta-not really dated early in high school, let’s call him A.  We see each other once or twice a year to catch up and he was only in town for the one day so I knew I needed say a quick hello.  I asked how things were, what’s new in life, etc.  When I said “what’s new?” A. responded, “Still the same gender? Can I ask that? Too early? ”

Side bar, I have briefly mentioned before that The Ex is transgendered (FTM).  We dated through part of high school and nearly all of college.  My friends (from both stages in my life) knew him by his female name and identity, and many are still struggling or confused by his maleness.  Hell, I even still struggle with his maleness at times!

To say that I was stunned is an understatement.  I am a girl with a response to everything and I was speechless.  A. was never all that comfortable with my homosexuality and had a large distaste for The Ex, but never would I expect something so….off color from him.  When I got over my initial shock I mumbled something about it indeed being too early and that I am still the same gender and I wouldn’t make that comment in front of The Ex.

After that everything became tense and awkward.  I couldn’t believe that I had a friend who would say something so insensitive.  However, this is a person who hasn’t had much exposure to the LGBT community.  It doesn’t give him a pass but it does tell me that we need more education about trans and other LGBT issues.  As a culture we tend to mock and badmouth things that we are afraid of or do not understand, and I feel it is my job to help these people understand our community and end the mocking and hateful talk.  Hopefully then I can have meaningful conversations with people from my past without being offended or having to walk on eggshells around someone else’s prejudices.